4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Randomize
