She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
