I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
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