You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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