is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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