the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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