White coat. Heels.
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
