it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Randomize
