Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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