Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
