you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
