There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
