This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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