thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
