it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
