oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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