Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
