It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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