i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
