i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
