There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
