8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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