you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
