For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
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