I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
