Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Randomize
