why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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