Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
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