batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
