I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
