And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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