He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
