: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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