he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
