Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I think my vagina is haunted
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I need a beard to bite.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
