This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
