I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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