Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
