Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
