so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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