I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Randomize
