Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
