oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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