During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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