everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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