U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize