my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
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