I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Randomize
