So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
