Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize