season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
