Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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