it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
