I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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