batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
