i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Randomize
