I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Someone shit on the floor
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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